Happy/Resentful Thanksgiving!

Yes, Happy Thanksgiving! Who says it’s HAPPY? Thanksgiving is one of the most depressing holidays of the year. Thanksgiving represents togetherness, friendships, happiness, and joy. Togetherness, a holiday that practically forces everyone to spend time with those relatives they don’t want to deal with. Critical Aunt Nancy, Ignorant Sister Sarah with Little Bobby, your bratty nephew who must have spawned from the devil himself, Lazy Ass Uncle Hal, Drunk Cousin Jim who always creates a scene, and of course, Snotty Cousin Jessie, who doesn’t want to be there. Resentful Thanksgiving is an obligation. Ahhhh, joy, where the hell is joy when you are sweating over a stove for hours at a time. You are consistently arguing with family members to get off of their asses and help. You are washing the dishes again and again until your hands become mere representations of dried lunch meat. Commonly, everything tends to go wrong during this washed out process. Little Bobby gets sick and pukes all over the living room floor. One of the dogs takes a horrific crap in the entry way and Little Bobby steps in it, tracking the over-processed dog food all over your carpet. Your spouse gets on your nerves and you begin to yell at each other in front of everyone about the fact that his mother is a fanatical Pentecostal control freak. Oh, and don’t forget, his brother is a leaching, free-loading, lazy, ungrateful, bastard who’s wife is never satisfied with anything. Now that everyone knows all about your spouses mother and brother, things begin to simmer down. Everyone sits and eats, dishes pile by the dozen, and nobody touches your fluffy fruit salad that you took almost 40 minutes to make. When alls finally over, you switch from sweating over the stove to sweating over a hot sink full of water doing the atrocious amounts of never ending dishes that nobody bothers to help you with. All of your thankful guests leave full and happy while you are drained, tired, and doing more dishes. Whooops, Little Bobby threw up again in front of the bathroom door. Little booger could have at least tried to make it to the toilet. Why the hell didn’t Ignorant Sister Sarah clean this up?! You are relieved when everyone is gone. You sit in front of the television set after finishing dishes, vacuuming, cleaning stale vomit, and spraying room spray over the entire house to cover up the scent of dog crap mixed with vomit. The house begins to smell normal again, you have cleaned away everyone and your thankfulness which had arose with you that morning has turned to resentment. You think to yourself, “Oh no, I am not doing this next year. I’ll leave it up to little Bobby’s mom.” The next year rolls around and you repeat the same process all over again. Resentful Thanksgiving all!